Ua api le ulu: the mark is near- the end is in sight

“I’m coming home, I’m coming home. Tell the world that I’m coming home”

Thoughts on getting to the US of A – well what the heck was that? What did I learn, will anyone even remember me? Did I make any difference at all? Was it a mistake to go? These are all questions I will ponder on for some time. I guess I made just about as much of a difference in Tonga and just as many friends… and yet I don’t feel attached to Samoa the way I do Tonga. I thought when going to Samoa that this would be my group of islands, that I would blend well there.

Getting back to Apia and seeing so many cars and people (and other white people!) made me realize just how much of a different world Savai’i was. So could I live in Samoa? Sure. Especially on Upolu it’s doable. What about my reasons for going in the first place? To see if I am truly invested/interested in other cultures (instead of just Tonga)? Living with family’s exposed me to Samoan culture to a level that I may not have been in Tonga. Then again maybe I just get Tongan culture a little better. Overall I’ve come to realize that I really like my own American (rural LDS Idaho) culture but I still have a desire to learn about other people and places. Now my focus is more defined realizing that I like living in America and I admire greatly/want to work in the education system with immigrants who come to my country. I also feel I can better empathize with their reasoning for wanting to come to my country. That recognition and clarity I think is one of the main reasons I went to Samoa.

            Realizing the differences in circumstance with my Tonga internship and my Samoan volunteer work has also been important in recognizing my ‘white privilege’ (don’t 100% agree with the paper under the same title but it makes some very good points). It was easier for me to function in Tonga because I had my own spaces, was in charge of my time and food. I was able to choose between which parts of the culture I would participate in and which I would not. I thought I understood when Sela Kioa (from Liahona campus) said she would love a house like mine on campus with the freedom that it symbolized. I now better understand the constraints of her culture having lived in a similar home as what she grew up in.

            Also like to note that I was never recognized for the work I did- I guess I just assumed that someone would say ‘thank you’ since in Tonga it was a big deal that I came. This is part of why I wonder if I made a difference. But when thinking about those who have really made the biggest difference in my life (my mother, Kasia, various friends and teachers) they have never been given awards for their life changing influence on me. Me going was not all about what I could teach but what I could learn. I learned about immigrant life in a new country from the Paramores and Mulitalos. I learned so much from God about myself and my future. SO much. Thank you Heavenly Father for that. I also came to realize just how special Tonga is to me – I found myself fighting learning Samoan because I felt I had already invested so much of my time and self in Tongan. I am grateful that I can move about so freely over this world and yet always be welcome at my home. What a blessing.

            No Samoa I don’t think I’ll be seeing you again anytime soon but I thank you for helping me learn so many things. You are beautiful. 

Fili e le tai se agava’a: let the sea determine the quality of the boat

Primary School Prize Giving

            After 10min the kids attention spans were shot : ) poor kids sitting their on the floor. At least it was in their native language though… my attention span only last a little longer than theirs : )

            I had to consider the kids receiving the awards and ask how much of their disseverance is based upon natural skill and ability and what the reality is of their circumstance as almost ALL who received awards were from English speaking homes or homes were there was a teacher in the home.

 

            Auntie Letoa asked to stand up and dance during the intermission and I thought about doing the sprinkler or washing machine… they would have loved that! : ) but alas I don’t like drawing attention to myself. So I just did some simple poly hand movements I’ve picked from my island trips. I always feel so stiff dancing Samoan o Tongan but that’s the way its supposed to be, for he girls dancing anyways. Sister Letoa also asked me to hand out her classes awards. That was sweet of her.  

            One family brought 2 laundry baskets full of lei’s. It was commented on that they are supporting their children. Sister Obley added that she never bought any lollys for these sorts of occasions because it’s a waste of money and everyone else always brings so many that she always has some to give (as is evident from the picture of her standing with her son Ray who is drowning in Leis). Most Palagi find Samoans extravagant. I suppose they are, considering their circumstances, but then I think about some Americans Christmases and they don’t seem to be all that extravagant. It’s more an exchange system anyways. You always give but you also run the high chance of receiving as well. Kinda like Christmas again : )

            Our family cars would fit in well here. On Li’i’s taxi one door opens from the inside not the outside, one from the outside not the inside, one doesn’t lock and one opens from the outside but is missing its handle so you have to know the trick to getting it open.

            Never, in my whole life, have I resented a fat person. I resent the Bishop. He eats what we save for others and he’s going to die soon and leave his children fatherless- this all seems so selfish. Like I have any right to judge while lugging around my extra tires : ) but it still just irritates me. I think health and weight is something that will be a bigger deal after death than we think. Consequences for food never seem immediate but they are part of our agency that doesn’t get used wisely to often (at least in Bishop and I’s cases).

Waterfall

The Budgetts- bless their hearts- took me to a waterfall to swim because I hadn't been to one my entire trip and that's one of the things I really wanted to do. I hadn't planned on swimming so I went Samoa style : )

HS Prize Giving

            It was thee funniest things to see all the male teachers run out during intermission of the prize giving. Intermission is when music is played and crazy ladies from the crowd come and ask male teachers, administration or presiding bishopric, to dance. The guy next to me, after returning to the room after the intermission ended, leaned over and said: “I learned the hard way.” When these ladys dance they get CRAZY. Like border line inappropriate but all in the name of fun.  Elder Budgett had said the day before “Samoans dance for fun with no inhabitations, I wish sometimes America was like that – you could dance with a person just cause you liked dancing.” I don’t think that’s what Elder Budgett was thinking when he was a really good sport and got up to dance with one of the ladies who then proceeded to put a wig on him and dance circles around him.

 The prize table

Elder Budgett dancing with the bunny-ear lady

 Sister Obley (his mom), Ray and Sister Taleni. Yes, that is a lot of lei's and I'm sure he's very hot under there : )

 Me and some of the teachers

 Mala holding a baby, Grace just touches everyone's heart : )

 Sia and I

 The school counselor, Sister Obley, Me, Sister Taleni, Pres/Principal Taleni

           Sia sat next to me and was crying because she was thinking about how her children one day will, Heavan willing, get prizes like these. I this was such a cute display of affection, she really does love being a mother. Other Samoan sentiment I don’t always understand. Like the song “mama you gave life to me…say goodbye” played during the awarding of the prizes for the salutadictorian and valedictorian. Most of the time songs are played because people like them- regardless of whether they have anything to do with what’s going on. The one I thought was funniest was when a girl thanked her parents and teachers for thief examples and then sang the song by Kelly Clarkson called “Because of you” which is a song about blame and regret written to her parents I wonder if people actually understood lyrics if they would still sing things… sometimes the boys know exactly what a song is saying and I have to be the one to have them turn it off. One time Taia was making umu and I asked if he knew what MM was rapping about and he said “I was just about to change the song, its just my hands are all wet.” lol

            I’m learning a lot from the missionaries about our perceptions often being misconceptions. My thoughts on this remind me of a poster I once saw (talking about how inaccurate archeologists could be) where a archeologist (1000 years from now) had found a skeleton and placed toothbrushes were earrings would be. In all actuality its not our fault that we look at things the way we do, its just a product of using our own culture as a lens to view others. Like when the ‘clowns’ (women who go crazy as their child gets an award) go up and dance right in the middle of a dance presentation by the students. In our culture that’s extremely rude – you’re taking the attention away from the students dance that they have practiced so hard. Yet when I was showing a short clip of the dancing to the Fulumu’a children they said the clown should have gone to the front to dance – they expected her frolicking and encouraged it.

            A common misconception of the senior missionaries and myself, that isn’t cultural, is that kids want to go to BYUH… to us its THEE best option (The university of the South Pacific and Samoa University aren’t recognized anywhere other than the small islands). The parents and students here, for the most part, don’t agree. They want to stay here- it is their country after all and the Church wants them to build up their country. A large problem with BYUH students is they marry mainlanders and then move to the mainland or return to their home county’s can’t find work and so return to the USA. I think part of the draw to the mainland is the job opportunities but I think another portion of it, that people don’t talk about, is that some students, by living in America, have been permanently changed and have a hard time adapting back into their own culture. Those who leave for BYUH are usually self selecting in the first place- putting themselfs out as different and wanting different for their futures. A commercial came on offering tickets to go anywhere in the world you wanted to and I asked Tala if she one where she would go. She said “Samoa.”

            I watched “Beauty and the Beast” with the kids, for our movie night, and I realized why Kasia and I aren’t married yet. We’re waiting for a man, like Gaston, who “use[s] horns in all of [his] decorating!” Didn’t realize how much B and the B is about lack of education and Frances turbulent history- that was often driven by fear. On the way to the castle one of the lines in the song is “what we don’t know scares us.” Watching the movie with subtitles caused me to realize just how tough and cheek Disney could be. 

Graduation and goodbye

Ray the Svictorian, Gareth the sports award, and the Vvictorian

Mala Me and Sister Fiu

  Sia and I

    The Budgetts and Osborns

        I know I wont be remember for much here in Samoa but I have helped with things I didn’t expct to – Like Sister Obleys remarks for the graduation ceremony. I drafted them with her and then typed and printed them. The theme of graduation was “over come your inner-self, for it is not the end; it’s a climb” and the song used was by  Miley Cyrus “The climb.” I was sitting there thinking, oh that’s a nice theme and it just hit me that the whole thing was for me. Kaley. Its not the end you should be focused on by the climb. Chad Berbert, USA diplomat and embassy representative, helped me realize this even more as I listened to his remarks. He said he was valavictorian for his class and looking back, he said this while tearing up, h realized he could say ‘Young Chad,  you have no idea what your life will be like.’ He said he’s learned two things from life. 1-relationships matter and determine success of life 2- education is key- work hard at making yourself smart. In closing he said that all 311 million citizens of America congratulate the graduates as Americas citizens have authority to President Obama, who gave authority to the man over Chad, who gave it to him. It was a cool way to end a speech.

            I met a lady who said her and her husband live here while her kids live in American Samoa. Her reasoning for leaving them there was because school and school lunch is free. I don’t know all the circumstances or understand everything but I feel that parents will one day be responsible for not raising the children that God gave them.

I stayed with the Mulitalos my last night and I visited to the Paremores. It was the right thing to do, visit the Paramores, and yet I had no desire to do it. Not because I was scared or angry or whatever I just have a feeling of already saying goodbye to them. Pura was very grateful I came to say goodbye. And when hugging me goodbye said into my ear “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry too and I’m not even sure what for.

All the way around the world

This trip as inspired by the book "Nafanua: saving the Samoan rain forest" by Paul Cox. Here I am posing with the sign and the book : )

Li’I suggested that we make mango otai for our Saturday excursion around the island (which he didn’t end up coming on : ( -he had to take care of his uncle). It was only my 1^st time but it turned out quite good : ). Li’i sometimes lets me have taxi rides for free… this worries me because I don’t know what it means. The kids just informed me that I said ‘hun’ to a guy at church and he now thinks I like him. I remember starting the habit of calling people ‘hun.’ I thought it made me sound kinder and more country. I think its time to let this habit go as its making me out to be a whole lot kinder than I am prepared to be.

            One of the first trucks to pass us had written on its tailgate “king of rap.” Bishop proudly turned to me and said with a laugh ”oh ya, he’s the one who wraps all the gifts for Christmas!” People always say “beautiful the houses” when trying to say “the houses are beautiful.” I think it’s a cute English mistake.

 

Lovers leap- After taking our picture Mala said “quick lets get back to the car before someone charges us for looking” but there was already a kid at the car who wanted $10 tala for looking at the rocks. I find that sort of thing incredibly frustrating. If it was something that required an actual fee for upkeep – like they had toilets or a nice ravel path or even picnic tables to be used- then I would understand, but being asked to pay for a stop along the side of the road is just a rip off. If I hadn’t have been with people who spoke Samoan I would have just drove off. I think… I don’t actually know as I’m a lot braver in my mind than I am in reality : )

Didn't actually go to the blowholes, but Mala wanted a picture : )

 The metal spiral staircase on the one side of the canopy walk. Mala waving at us from below.

 Do you see how the walk is made out of laders placed end to end with boards on top? Ya, I felt safe : ) lol

 View from way up top. The canopy walk is attached halfway up this 300 year old tree and so you actually climb about four more stairways to get to the very top.

 Jarome coming across a second time - so proud of himself for doing it twice

 

  Sorry but I don’t have pics of a couple of things we drove past to fast to take a picture of. They are: a boy with a load of coconuts so heavy on his bicycle handlebars that I’m quite surprised it didn’t topple forward. A red dented wheelbarrow full of coconuts sitting on the side of the road. A very colorful boat floating on pristine clear turquoise water. And an RV camper parked halfway into a Fale… this is by far the most bizarre thing I have seen in Samoa.

Swimming with Turtles... or rather just putting our feet in with them : )

       

            Another humorous thing to the side of the road was the fale labeled “Joseph Smith 32.’ Apparently it’s a  resort owned by members and they have named their fale’s after all the prophets. Why not? : ) We passed 4 sets of missionaries on our little trip : ) It was  such a pleasure to spot their white shirts surrounded by green foliage.

While we were driving around I realized “I live in Samoa.” Its an odd thing to realize after 4 months of being here. When you first get to a place it’s the sentence that’s most played in your head but after time it wears off and doesn’t faze you as much because it all just becomes normal to you.  I’m trying to make the most of my last couple of days here… but I have to be honest and say that I woke up this morning and the first thought that entered my mind was “only a couple more days!” I am ready to go I guess.

Sorry I didn't get any other pictures of the lava flow - my cameras battery died just after this picture : )

            It only takes about 3 hours to drive around the whole island but you would have thought it was a 13 hour flight by the way the kids fell asleep in the car and everyone was completely existed. I guess for people who view a 15min drive as long it really is a great deal of time to be in a car. I’m exceed for our 13 hours drive from WA (with our new dog once!) I get to the mainland : ) Always something exciting just around the corner I suppose : )